Your communication skills and behavioural skills which help you to deal with and influence people around you to achieve objectives both at the personal and professional fronts are called Soft skills.
The opposite of soft skill is hard skill, which is the technical or domain knowledge pertaining to a particular field.
Imagine a child who wants his parents to buy him a pack of chocolates. The child will do everything possible from crying to holding his parents’ limbs to persuade them to buy the pack of chocolates for him. In the process, the way the child expresses himself through his body language and tone are his communication skills in order to influence his parents.
When you have good soft skills, you will have good personal, professional and social relationships.
In order to improve your Soft skills, first you must focus on developing the right mindset. For example, if you go for an adventure sport like Paragliding, you will find the trainer to be calmer and more composed than you. He not only takes care of his own safety but also ensures that you have a safe and enjoyable flight from the point of jumping to the point where you land. The trainer of the paraglider is able to show such skills because he has years of experience through which he has developed the right mindset, which in turn helps him to show such skills.
Therefore, it is very important for you to develop the right mindset, which in turn will help you to improve your soft skills.
When you want to improve your soft skills, you actually want to improve your capability to build good relationships and influence people. And in order to achieve this, first you must focus on developing the right mindset.
Let us now discuss two daily rituals, which will help you to develop the right mindset to improve your soft skills.
1. Expressing Gratitude
Why:
Unless you have a mindset to express gratitude for whatever you have, you cannot feel fulfilled and you cannot be at peace with yourself, you will appear to be in conflict with yourself.
You might have seen people who have lost a body part or do not have eye-sight to see this beautiful world, they still do their best to live normally like others because they accept their situation and move on with life.
When you start expressing gratitude for whatever you have, you will be at peace with yourself. And this inner peace will be visible and audible to others through your body language, tone and listening skills.
When:
Every day you need to express gratitude as many times as you want. Particularly, during the times when you feel low.
How:
You need to tell yourself that “I am very happy and grateful for whatever I have. Thank you very much Universe”. You can make this statement to yourself silently without any voice or with voice, depending on your comfort but you need to make this statement with real-life feelings which should match your statement. Making this statement without the real-life feelings will not yield the desired results.
2. Expressing Empathy and Compassion
Why:
You are connected with every other human being and everything on this planet. When you receive news that someone in some part of the world doesn’t have food and water, you get upset. Through internet, these types of news of people living in inhuman conditions reach us faster than ever. Even if you decide to ignore this kind of news and get on with your work, it will still keep playing on your mind. In this scenario, you might not be able to help physically, but you if you offer your prayers for these people’s well-being, you can be at peace with yourself that you sincerely want the well-being of these people and if you had the resources, you could have also helped them physically. After all, it is our intentions which matter.
Without having the attitude of showing empathy and compassion for others, you will not be able to get along with others because it will only lead to frequent confrontations.
When:
i. Whenever you come to know about or see a person, not living a life as privileged as you, pray for that person’s well-being and happiness and if possible do something for that person. This practice will make you develop an attitude of empathy and compassion.
ii. Whenever you get upset with someone, try to put yourself into the other person’s shoes. Try to find out a solution which is not offending to the other person and which benefits both of you.
How:
You can develop an attitude of empathy and compassion when you pray for the well-being of every human being and every being on this planet and this universe. You need to continuously work on yourself to develop the mindset of expressing gratitude for whatever you have, and showing empathy and compassion for others. After you develop this mindset, you then need to focus on the following communication skills in order to improve your soft skills to build great relationships and to influence people.
1. Body Language
Why:
Body language involves the non-verbal communication. Research says that 50% of your communication depends on your body language, 40% depends on your tone and only 10% depends on the words that you say. Hope you now understand that how you make your friends laugh when you use harsh words for them for fun.
Your facial expression is the most important part of your body language. If you want to build good relationship with others, then you need to have a smile on your face, else the other person might perceive you to be rude.
When:
Try to keep yourself alert about your body language, particularly when you are upset with someone. You and the other person may have different views because both of you are different persons. This is where your mindset of showing empathy and compassion will come into picture.
If you have a mindset of showing empathy and compassion, it will not be difficult for you to have a smile on your face, even during a heated argument. A smile on your face can make a heavy heart become lighter.
How:
Do your best to have a smile on your face in any situation. Your smile needs to be coupled with your mindset of showing empathy and compassion and only then your smile will make you appear as a person who cares for others, which will eventually make others feel valued and you will be able to build good relationships.
4. Tone
Why:
40% of your communication depends on your tone. When you use harsh words for fun, you will sound funny but if you use harsh words seriously, you will sound rude. So you need to be careful with your tone while talking to others.
When:
When you are talking to someone about a serious matter, ensure that you do not have a very high tone which would make you sound disrespectful nor you should have a very low tone which reduces the importance of the matter. For example, imagine that your boss has not granted your leave and you are trying to explain him your reasons for requesting for one week leave. If you use a high tone, then your boss may feel disrespected and if you use a low tone, then your boss may not be able to understand the seriousness of the matter for which you have applied for leave.
So you need to use a tone that doesn’t sound disrespectful and at the same time your tone should not sound to be lacking the importance.
How:
You can master your tone through practice.
You can watch the numerous debates on internet or television, which turn into quarrels, as the participants do not use the right tone. Imagine yourself to be one of these participants and start debating with a tone which should not sound disrespectful and at the same time should not sound to be lacking the importance.
5. Listening Skills
Why:
If you want to take the initiative of building relationships or want to influence others, then you need to have excellent listening skills.
When you listen to the other person properly, he feels valued. And you will be able to build good relationship with him and can also influence him.
When: Whenever you talk or get into a debate with someone, make it a practice to listen to the other person properly. Ensure that you do not cut him off while he is still talking. And in case, you cut him off while talking, then just apologize.
Listening to others properly, is an ideal behaviour and highly admired by others as they feel valued when they are listened to
How:
You can improve your listening skills with practice.
Your listening skills need to be coupled with your mindset of showing empathy and compassion for others, which will help you to build good relationships and also influence others.
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